...just because I can't think of a better title lol.
also, very very long entry, I think.
My inactivity in dA is a result of the many things going on in my life, still going on in my life, things that happened in my life, etc. lol.
I have been very inactive in cosplaying, crafts and photography as well. These things are the entries I upload here on dA. So, not having time for them, I got really inactive.
Last April, I was kept busy by my grad rites. From where I'm from, we get two graduation ceremonies, the normal university rites then the really unique college rites. Since I was in first grade, I've always dreamed of graduating from the most prestigious university in my country. Twenty-one years later, I was able to don the much sought after 'sablay', a symbol worn by those who have earned their diplomas in the said university. As I marched down the stage, went to my grad dinner and started signing professional school papers, it was then that I started reflecting on my priorities in life.
I believe it's time to put things in order.
Two years ago, a friend of mine pulled out from school in order to pursue a modelling career. He worked real hard over the years. A couple of months ago, I was invited to one of his gigs. He looked stunning under the spotlight. And as we looked at his photos and portfolios, he said that he was very happy with what he did.
Au contraire, a friend pulled out of school - just because. He'd been flunking subjects left and right... just because. He says that the course wasn't for him. But he refused to transfer courses anyway when I told him he could do better in another course. He didn't have another course he wanted to pursue, or a special talent or dream of sorts like modelling or photography, or singing or dancing or what have you. Two years later, I learned that indeed he didn't come back to school. He doesn't have a job either, instead, he pursues an expensive hobby, bouncing around, living off of his mom's credit card.
Another friend of mine pulled out from school in order to 'hone his craft'. But two years later, he continues to float, without a real direction. His father offered him a formal education with the said craft, but I guess he's enjoying his life right now. Going to places, doing random things. The last time we talked, he relates his feelings of sadness and feelings of insecurity as he looked at my graduation pictures. He would have marched the same day I did had he not pulled out from school. He also relates that he doesn't know what he wants in life right now. He has no real goal at this point in time.
Goal.
A real goal.
What is it that I want in life?
I have two jobs right now, before the year started, I got promoted. The pay's good and I've been saving up nicely. The other job, I got a couple of days before my graduation. I intend to use all the money I gain from this second job to secure an investment. My sister and I have been planning this said investment for some time now and we're finally pushing through with it. My friends have started searching for jobs right after graduation. One of them aims to become a novelist and another is going to study overseas. And me? I'm going to law school.
As I signed papers for law school, I thought, the jig is up.
My parents sat with me one time as I was sorting out my files for work. As I glued my eyes on my laptop screen my mom remarks that she's proud that I know when to take things seriously. Knowing my mom, she wants to talk about something. My dad leaves the scene, he never does the 'talk' with his kids. My mom repeats her line, proud that I know when to take things seriously. She looks around my room and picks up Kaito's black mini top hat, an accessory I made for my Imitation Black cosplay. She didn't have to say a word, I know they want me to quit the hobby. It felt strange, but I guess it was about time. Then again I really wasn't ready yet to leave it like that as it was the most enjoyable hobby I've had in a long time. So I only have until May. It's indeed pretty sad.
Then again, I still have a month and that's plenty of time - and I intend to make the most out of these remaining days.
And with these remaining days, I intend to post as much as I can, from old photos to recent ones and the new ones that we'll be taking.
I wonder how long I can keep up.
Surely, I'll miss the old days.
-
Mood:
Joy -
Listening to: A Little Pain | Serizawa Reira | Olivia Lufkin
-
Reading: sayou's ym messages, lol.
-
Watching: evening news
-
Playing: with my sanity
-
Eating: ---
-
Drinking: ---
Sta.sh
+ 
!! ^.^
GAZEROCK IS NOT DEAD
